Is it a break up?
The loss of a job?
Is it a strange relationship with a family member or spouse?
Whatever it is, we’ve all dealt with rejection, and it hurts.
Here are a few tips that can help you get on the other side of rejection.
Put it in perspective. Sometimes when we experience one negative thing, we see everything as negative. This isn’t healthy because then we start having a worldview that’s based through the eyes of our rejected experiences, they are not realistic. Operating the the lenses of a lack of reality will continue to cause us harm.
Honestly look at yourself and see what you could’ve done differently to avoid the rejection, if at all. It is so easy to look at external factors that determine why things happen. Maybe you broke up because he cheated? Or you lost your job because your boss was too demanding. But the truth is, the only way that you will learn how to reduce your rejection experiences, is to look within and see what it is that you are doing to contribute to your problems. Start asking yourself the honest questions of what could I have done differently to avoid the rejection? Sure there are some situations where things just have to occur, no matter what. But they are almost always things that we can do differently to avoid the misfortunes in our life… or at least to reduce the impact of them.
For instance, if your boyfriend cheats on you, is it possible that he gave you hints previously that he was unfaithful? If you lost your job due to a demanding boss, where are the areas where you tried to cut corners and that made your situation more difficult? These examples are typical explanations of how even when we are wronged by a circumstance, we also contribute to the circumstance. Only once we take an honest look at ourselves, can we really take a proactive step in ensuring that these rejection like experiences don’t continue to occur.
Think of what you need to do next time to reduce your chances of being rejected again. Instead of continuing a relationship with someone who has shown you signs that they could be unfaithful, why not at least speak with them about their plan for being committed to you. Maybe you could talk to a therapist that will help you both to put things into a clearer perspective and get you on the right path.
Prevention is better than cure and the more we start to predict rejection, and problem solve for it, the better off things will be.
And here’s a bonus. Ask yourself, what did the rejection teach you that you would not have learned without it? The tough reality is that experience is the best teacher. No matter how hurtful the rejection experience feels, there’s something that you’ve learned from it and you have a duty to tap within and see what that is.
No one wants to be rejected, but all of us experience it from time to time. If you’re stuck with the aftermath of the feelings of being rejected, help is available for you today.