Episode #41: What is Future Tripping?

Future tripping holds many people back. Here’s why…

Dr. Connie Omari
Hi, I’m Dr. Connie Omari I work with women, children and families who are affected by trauma, depression and anxiety.

So today, I want to talk to you about an important concept that some of you probably face, but aren’t quite sure what it is, why it’s harming you, and what you can do about it. And the concept that I want to discuss today is called Future tripping.

So what is future tripping? Future tripping? is what happens when you get into a relationship? And as soon as you get into the relationship, you began basically tipping about the future? Are we going to get married? Are we going to have kids? Is he going to be like, the last person I dated, etc. So the millennials today, we’ll call that future tripping. And I want to talk to you a little bit about what it is and how you can avoid doing that.

Okay, first of all, why do we future trip?’ We future trip, because we have been through experiences that either have been less than ideal that make us feel that we should be a little bit lost about our future and not very clear about it. Or we’re just at a point where we’re really ready for the next level, we want to make sure if this relationship is worth the investment. I see this happening a lot with women, especially who are entering their 30s, or maybe in their mid 30’s 40’s, even many of whom are already settled with their career and already are settled with maybe having a home or some form of property, and are really just looking for what they might consider the final piece to completing their life.

So as soon as they begin to get into a relationship, they’re thinking about the future in a way that sometimes is off putting. Now you’ll see in some of my videos and things that have been talked about in the past, it is kind of good to know what the future holds for you in the relationship. Because it’s important that you pay attention to certain signs, especially with there might be concerns about the potential for abuse or mistreatment of some capacity. But future tripping can be a nuisance, because it can put the other person on guard and make the other person feel like maybe your interest in their relationship is disingenuous, because your main concern is satisfying your own goals, and maybe not the needs of your partners.

And also, it can put you in a situation whereby you might miss things that you would have been paying attention to if you aren’t so focused on the future. So future tripping in general is not something we really encourage. But it’s something that we often see.

So what can you do to stop future tripping? I would recommend that you try to find ways really to stay in the moment and be present. And just understand that there is really no point in future tripping. It’s already designed who you’re going to be with. So it doesn’t matter. If you meet someone new, who’s great, and you’re enamored with them, and you think they’re awesome, and it might not work out. And then you might meet someone a little different.

Like when I met my husband, I really wasn’t connected to him and I really wasn’t strong ly attached to him. And now we’re almost about to celebrate our eight year anniversary. So you know, it really doesn’t make any sense to future trip.  You don’t know what the future is going to hold. But the most important thing is to be present and present with your best self. And then be open to understanding the dynamics of the other person and how that might best suit your life. So future tripping is something that we see very common in the clinical world, especially with relationships, especially in today’s age where there was a lot of pressure for women to get married and have children and a lot of times there are other things that might make that a little bit harder. So if you or anyone that you know is struggling with something like that, along the lines of future tripping up here, and I’d like to help again.