Welcome to the black Marriage and Family Therapy matters podcast where we connect black families to black therapist. On Mondays, you will receive direct therapeutic support from a licensed therapist or professional connected to the mental health field. They will provide therapeutic and educational resources to help you have a healthier relationship with your family members. On Wednesdays, you will receive direct tips and resources to help you get through the stuck places that prevent many people from having relationships with their families and significant others that they desire. On Fridays, we want you to visit our blog which can be found at WWW dot black MFT matters.com which holds additional resources and action steps that you can begin implementing immediately to improve your relationships. This is necessary because we love that you are listening. But we want you to take action to while you are there. Please grab our A to Z relationship bootcamp and be provided with the skills you need to immediately communicate better within your relationships. Please note that while the therapists on podcasts are therapists, they do not serve as your therapist unless you have signed a confidential agreement with them confirming that relationship. Thank you in advance for listening. And we hope you are inspired. All right, it’s time for the show. Here is your host, Dr. Connie Omari.
Dr. Connie Omari
Hello, hello, hello, I am Dr. O.
And today’s topic is the three characteristics experienced by all people who struggle with high functioning depression. So before we get get too far into the specifics of high functioning depression, I don’t want to take for granted that you know, the signs of just regular depression to begin with.
So let’s kind of break those down. Okay, one of the signs that you’re going to see more than anything is a decreased level of happiness or excitement about life.
Okay, this can be demonstrated, based off of how you feel. Maybe if you were going to rate yourself on a scale of one to 10, I would say if you feel anything like a five and below, we can start thinking about you know, feelings of depression are, you know, anything along that line.
But things that you can look for, right, it’s decreased or increased appetite, okay, if you, this can really be tell, this can really be determined based off of your weight. I mean, I know for for a lot of us, that’s an uncomfortable topic. But if you’re noticing an increase or decrease in your weight of more than five pounds or so and like the last month, depression could be a sign of insomnia, or oversleeping. Okay, so if you’re not sleeping very much, or sleeping for extended periods of time, that could also be a sign of depression, lack of energy, right, or feeling fatigued.
And sometimes it’s too much energy, which chronicles into the manic phase. But still, it’s important to recognize Are you still getting up like you used to are you still accomplishing the task that you normally do you still taking your your household or your grooming duty seriously, if you’re not doing that, then that could be another sign of depression, low self esteem, trouble making decisions, feeling sad, hopeless. All of these are signs of depression.
Now, when we have a high functioning depressive person, they’re really interesting because they tend to perform very well. And so their depression can be easier to mask or high. Because it’s easy to assume that because this person might be in a powerful position, or this person might be having some really great outcomes that we can see maybe they’re financially well off, maybe they you know, are in a position of authority or power, then it can be harder to assume that weight, this person’s actually struggling with depression.
So I want to break down some of that for you as well. Because this is when you don’t know that something’s there, then it’s even harder, right to be able to work through it.
So the first thing I want the first thing, alright, that nearly all highly high functioning depressive people struggle with is a greater appreciation for the work environment. So you know, some people might work nine to five and they’re like when they’re when it’s when that clock strikes. Five o’clock, I’ve done I’m gone. I am home for the day. But the highly depressive functioning person is going to want to be at their work more because their work or whatever it is, is their escape. It’s their tool is their vehicle is their resource for being able to help them to separate right from the feelings of depression. In that they’re struggling with. Okay, so if it’s a greater appreciation for work, more so than normal, then that could be a sign of high functioning depression.
Another one is that they experience loneliness. So there’s a saying that goes, it’s lonely at the top. Well, the truth of the matter is, is what the higher you get, and the less people are able to keep up and the less people are able to follow, the more isolated you begin to feel, and with these feelings of isolation,also cause feelings of depression.
And finally, they often have a good way to say this unstable relationships. And that’s because they identify a lot, or there’s a difference between intellectual intelligence, emotional intelligence, and I have done a video on emotional intelligence. So if you don’t know that difference, it might be a good idea to kind of go through my video history and pick that up. And the reason that’s important is because the skills that are needed in many ways, and I teach people in my work, how to use those skills to combine to make you both intelligent, but intelligent in both areas. But in, in our country, in the United States, there’s a tendency to really value intellectual intelligence, and not as much emotional intelligence.
So if you don’t know how to use your intellect, and your intellectual intelligence to enhance your emotion, and therefore your emotional intelligence, then you might have very complicated relationships. And so the highly functioning, the highly functioning depressive person is going to identify more with your intellectual intelligence, which, if not properly channeled, can actually conflict and cause a challenge for emotional intelligence. If I could just give a quick example. You know, if you think about somebody who’s in a very, very powerful position, right, let’s say that a president CEO, whatever pumping, a lot of times that requires a level of Stern, you know, thorough lack of emotional reasoning, and more intellectually policy, problem solving analytical thought processes, okay.
So that’s what they use on a regular basis. That’s what helps them to be successful in acquisition, then they come home, or they come to your relations, and they want to use those skills, which, like I said, I teach people to learn how to use being emotion to have an emotionally intelligent interactions. But that’s not always the case. And if they don’t do that, appropriately, now, you are putting up intellectual intelligence in a position where emotional intelligence should be used. And that’s a conflict.
So it’s important to make sure that you know the difference. And you know, if you don’t, that’s what we’re here for. So these are the three signs that are the three things that nearly every high functionally emotionally intelligent person struggles. All right.
So if that’s you or somebody that you care about, I strongly encourage you to take a moment just to share this video with them. And give them a little bit of education about what’s going on. And if you’d like to work further, I have my contact information in the details below. So I appreciate your time. Thank you so much for listening to us today. And I look forward to seeing you again soon. All right. Take care, peace and blessings, Doctor. Well, that concludes our episode for today. Thank you so much for listening, peace and blessings, Doctor O.