We have all been in that uncomfortable situation where we have wanted to do something, but we felt as if we couldn’t move forward due to negative feedback by someone else.
That feeling leaves us torn between doing what we feel led to do, and trying to please others.
More importantly, haters/naysayers usually gain most of their power because they serve as someone that we care about and whose opinion we value.
Because we have relationships with these people, it might be helpful to understand a little bit more about what lies beneath the motives of the “Negative Nancy” to help give it meaning.
So let’s take a moment to break down the difference between a naysayer and a hater.
A naysayer is somebody who genuinely means us well. They want the best for us and call themselves giving us advice. But the naysayer discourages us from fulfilling our life’s journey, because they think that they are protecting us from the inevitable harms of danger. They think this way because they are operating through the lenses by which they see the world, and not taking into consideration the unique challenges of their loved ones.
A hater is someone who doesn’t mean us any good at all. It’s the person that secretly prays for your failure. This person will go to extreme lengths to try to interfere with your success while at the same time taking great pleasures in your pains an failures.
For the sake of maintaining healthy relationships, it’s important to know the difference between the two. The reason being, a hater will never mean well for you and is not worth your time to invest in once this is discovered. But a naysayer truly does mean well but just needs a little bit of patience with seeing you work through your vision. This doesn’t give them a license to betray you, but if you truly value relationships and understand that nobody is perfect, you might want to consider preserving these partnerships. On many occasions, the naysayer starts to see that you are accomplishing what you set out to do, and will give credit to where credit is due. Trust me, this victory is worth the wait.
Whether you are dealing with naysayer or hater, both are challenging. If you would like help navigating these complex relationships, please