Tips for Emotional Resiliency

All of us endure emotional hardship, but not all of us know how to handle our emotions. These tips should help.

We all experience emotional turmoil…


Whether we are having problems with our children…


Facing marital conflict…


Problems on the job…


Or grieving the death of a parent…


There are emotional problems that you can encounter that can nearly take your breath away, but learning how to manage them is an act of resilience.


  • Focus on what you can control, not what’s out of your control. Be solution-focused, not problem-focused.


  • Use events as learning experiences. The Chinese symbol for crisis is made up of the two symbols for danger plus opportunity. Be flexible and open-minded.


  • Alter your perceptions. Don’t try to change others! As Epictetus said in 1 A.D., “It is not events which disturb us, but our view of those events.” Enhance rational thinking to prevent negativity from spinning out of control!


  • Limit the hostility factor. The negativity and anger we harbor for others is more destructive to the one who harbors the resentment. Be generous and giving in spirit and avoid a negative focus.


  • Strive for GOODNESS, not PERFECTION! give up the need to be right. Limit defensiveness. Forgive– both yourself and others. Accept limitations. Let go of “shoulds,” which make one bitter.


  • Develop compassion. Choose kindness over being right. Resist the need to be critical.


  • Develop good self-care habits. Allow yourself “mental health breaks” and “timeout” regularly. Take care of needs in mind, body, and spirit. Eat well, exercise, and get enough sleep. Pamper yourself. Set limits prioritize, and delegate.


  • Don’t isolate yourself — CONNECT! Avoid self-absorption. Seek to understand, not only to be understood.


  • Look for the humor in things. Lighten up! Life is too serious to be taken too seriously. Accept that life isn’t fair!


  • Develop mindfulness. Learn to live in the present.


  • Don’t ruminate on events that can’t be changed.


  • Accept the good as well as bad; neither will last forever. 


Emotional resiliency skills are essential to living a quality life. These tips should help you. Whether you are struggling yourself, or with a friend or loved one, we encourage you to model these skills in your relationships, to make them stronger. If you need support in handling emotional resiliency, please contact one of our therapists today.

The information used for blog was taken from Judith A. Belmont. M.S. (2006) * 86. T.I.P.S. for the Therapeutic Toolbox



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